Women: Is Your Church Holding You Back?

You may be wondering what your purpose is and how God wants to use you in the world. Maybe you have been praying for God to send you and you feel called set the captives free but you can’t seem to find your “place and position” in the church.

I’ve heard in the upwards of hundreds of frustrated women express a desire to grow in leadership and influence. They feel a bigger call of God on their lives. They want to mentor and speak not necessarily as a pastor or church-planter BUT they feel frustrated inside the church and want to be growing in spiritual leadership so they can be bolder and influence more people.

Women who love God, are working hard to live in a way that transforms their family and friends for Christ and working to bring in a good income to their house. Feeling this “something’s wrong with you” because they are a woman and so rather than voice the concern that they feel limited or suffocated, they just quietly leave the church in frustration. I saw it two times just this year with two women who are AMAZING leaders. It breaks my heart.

But here’s the truth. The real battle isn’t with men that are threatened by a woman who knows her identity and what she wants to produce in others. What’s wrong is the mindset in these women that they would allow their calling to be defined by mere men. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?

If you want what God wants, no man or demon on earth can stop you. Pastor Crawford Loritts

If there is a struggle on the inside of you to speak, write and transform people for Christ (whether it is in ministry or business) and you’re not doing that at the level you feel called to, you have been conditioned to WAIT for permission and you believe people/organizations have the ability to hold you back.

The truth is, you have been given a clear mission to make disciples for Christ. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to do this. Matthew 28 is a gender-neutral commandment. You have also been given all the authority you need to walk in power. The argument over the roles of women in the church is not going to be solved in our generation.  So, why would you let small-minded men who have no plan for equipping and releasing women into making disciples make a plan for you?

This is a smoke-screen for the real issue, which is….WHO IS truly equipped to RELEASE someone into ministry?

Your pastor (And where did he get his permission from? A Bible College?)

Or is it the Father himself and he confirms it through fruit?

I’m just getting started so hold on to your head-coverings. 

If you’re not getting released with the individuals you are building spiritually with and who you are accountable to, then the battle is not with them. It’s with what you believe deep down in your heart about how Christ delegates authority and how he raises up and releases people with authority to make DISCIPLES.  I believe the Father sends. The Father anoints. The Father confirms and your fruit follows.

Now, we are assuming you have great accountability in your life and you don’t have some crappy attitude that is warranting the leaders around you encouraging you to serve and grow behind the scenes a little bit more. You can argue theology all day long, but you can’t ignore power and transformation. You know. Ordinary people being used to heal the lame in the temple. Very offensive to religious people.

Honestly, what I see many times in many denominations is if the pastor or elder board believes that women should not be leading, equipping, or releasing other leaders, they will fail at implementing their mission and stated purpose, which is to make disciples. They are only operating at 50% capacity at best. If we want to get technical, the statistic is probably lower than that, as women are typically the foundation of the helps ministry in the church.  They will also have influential women leave their organization (with their tithe) and they will have to place women figureheads in place who are running programs and bible studies but not operating in any transformational leadership.

(Because that requires actual delegated authority)

If the church is saying they want to make disciples and they are not trusting the women to model leadership by promoting Godly women preachers, speakers, missionaries and teachers in the pulpit AND (supporting leadership programs to train them), pioneering and reproducing them in support with the men, then what they are stating as their IDENTITY is completely disconnected.

This, in turn, produces the exact opposite of what a true spirit led church wants in the culture of the church. They activate “Jezebels” and legalism because where there is a vacuum of healthy leadership and roles, there will always be rebellion and a feeling of disconnect and a leak in the organization that can’t get plugged. At deeper levels, they will struggle with loyalty and staff turnover. I have been part of two church plants and I can tell you this is not a pretty picture of the church.

Not good in this particular year because of what is happening identity wise in our nation with the potential of our first female president or frankly Trump who is going to break the organizational identity mold if he is elected. This is going to have significant ramifications in the spirit realm for the church in America.

In order to attract powerful women who make disciples and equip others, the identity of the church or organization has to be in agreement with it’s actions of equipping both men and women. The bad news is, if what I have stated is what your church believes and you keep waiting on them to change their minds about women in ministry, you’re going to be one frustrated woman and that will impact how you walk in your true purpose.

Solution=> Never let other people define for you who you are called to and how you will reach them.

That’s what’s happened to me and there is nothing that compares to knowing I am walking in the bullseye zone of God’s will for my life. Overflowing with testimonials that point to the calling I walk in and setting the captives free. The more I ask God to make me unstoppable, the more opportunities I receive and you will too. When I encounter small minded thinking, I don’t have to feel frustrated. I just keep growing into who God has called me to do.

Walking in a tangible power of God in my life and in my business.

It’s not about praying harder. It’s about changing your beliefs about your identity, your authority and where God is calling you in the body of Christ. It could be outside of the church in the business realm so you can be sent in the identity God is calling you to walk in. If you want to make disciples, speak and walk in authority you must be clear internally on your mission and not come under people who are disconnected in their thinking.

Here are a few of the hundreds that I’ve come up with, based on what I have heard women say over the ten years I have been coaching and having these conversations about women in ministry in the church.

  • If God wanted me speaking, coaching, discipling, people would invite me to speak and the doors would just open. (No, what happens is you get clear on your identity and what you produce for people and then you receive opportunities due to your boldness and relational favor)
  • I am not good at being bold and talking about what I do. (You should be talking about results people get and their testimonials rather than how much money you make or how great you are. (One is pride, one point to Christ and his power and how you helped people arrive at that)
  • I am just tired of thinking all the time about how to grow, I would rather spend my time reading the word and in prayer with people. (Leaders in ministry work. They counsel, coach, visit people in the hospital, correct those who go astray. If you don’t want to work, you should marry rich)
  • If I get any bigger, I will just fail more publicly (I’m a fraud mindset, and just fear. Don’t exaggerate results and you won’t struggle with this)
  • I’m not cut out to be the upfront person. I am more comfortable serving behind the scenes. (This is not moving into the identity God is calling you to when he calls you, I have served in children church for decades, I am serving in a different way now)
  • I don’t want people to think I am pushy or controlling. (Walking in your authority will disturb some people and inspire others. Be you and watch what God does through your obedience. You don’t want to hold yourself back so others feel more secure)

If this is what’s going on in your heart, you’re essentially sabotaging your own success and we’ve got to do something about that if you want to begin seeing people transformed systematically and powerfully. Otherwise, you’ll continue to pray really hard, struggle with feeling held back and not see the results you say you want.

Your mission is to take the time in prayer and write down the mindset that is sabotaging you (like the ones listed above). Once you have written it down, ask God to resolve this for you within the week. Your clarity level will increase and suddenly you will begin to get opportunities.

Become AWARE of which fears and limiting mindsets are sabotaging you on a daily basis, like some of the ones listed above. Now go and reach the people God is calling you to reach.

Love, Bec:)

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