5 Reasons You Should Get Started Writing That Book

Writing a book is one of the greatest ways to multiply the work of power and grace Christ has done in your life. If I had someone share with me the information that I am going to tell you today, I would have never struggled with blocking time to create my first coaching manual.

So here’s the truth. God sometimes calls people to write in super-spiritual ways; I am not disputing that. Maybe they have some vision or mystical experience where they know that they know they need to obey him and take action. And then there is all the rest of us that God just gives this nagging feeling to that won’t go away; that feels more like a desire. For some reason, if it’s a desire then it is so much easier to ignore or think it’s “flesh.”  But here’s the thing. Desires are planted by the Lord, and if your heart is to see people set free, this is just as valid as some mystical experience!

Let me assure you, whether you have strong impressions in prayer, idea’s that you think would help others build success or just that ordinary nagging, won’t go away feeling the way I did; this is the Holy Spirit nudging you to write down your thoughts and processes into a precise form! So, it’s important that you yield to this, the same way you would yield to God asking you to deal with some aspect of your old nature.

Why Some People Talk About Writing A Book But Never Do

I have noticed that the more people struggle with needing affirmation from others, the longer they talk and not take action. After coaching hundreds of people through this process, it boils down to one issue. They are afraid to put their identity out there for people to inspect because all deep down most of us are scared of getting found out that we really don’t have anything special to say, all our hard work will amount to nothing or that worse, people don’t agree with our theology and slam us publicly. (Been there done that:)

The first book I wrote was terrible. I had a friend of mine who was an English teacher go through it with a red pen, and I cried reading her comments. But here’s the thing. After I had rewritten it, it became my foundational program that the Lord used to set hundreds of clients free and help my business take off.  The bottom line is if God has spoken to you about this, it is now about what God wants to use you for and not whether you feel like writing it or you don’t have time, resources, etc. on the excuses. It’s about you being obedient, activating your faith and stepping into a place and position where you can be used as a conduit for God’s message.

Here Are Five Reason’s To Get Started Writing That Book

1. Writing a book is about WHO God is sending you to transform.

I believe this is why most people who say, “I’m going to write a book someday,” never cast their vision, block time to write and FINISH the book in a deadline (Because the truth is you can have the never-ending perfectionistic book project). It’s because it’s still about them and they are getting spiritual warfare! When you have a revelation that the Lord is trying to activate you to bring him glory, you will find the time to get up at 4 am if you have to write, bump the lunches so you can write while you are at work and otherwise do what you have to do to finish it.  You will be able to push through the fear of the whole thing being a complete failure because you now have become OBEDIENT and now it’s up to God on what to do with it.

2.  Writing the book will force you to identify your BOLDEST IDENTITY zone. This is the place you are most anointed to serve people in.

I just spoke at the Georgia Christian Counselors Association about growing extra income streams through developing a book. Here’s what I see happen again and again. We all have resurrection stories that glorify Christ and lead people to HIM. There is anointing on your testimony because it is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. When you take the time to harness this and give your audience a step-by-step system for break-through, the results are BOLD. It’s because your brokenness is the place God wants to use, not your knowledge. This is why you don’t have to worry about it being too simple or not theologically deep enough. Write about your pure illumination.

3.  Writing the book is about God using you now in the small things. In your closest friendships, in your neighborhood, and in your city.

Holy Cow. Don’t even get me started here with the professional speaking friends I have whose big city published books are sitting in their garage affecting NO ONE. People, you don’t have to be published by supernova Christian book publisher to begin transforming people’s lives. You can self-publish your first book like I did and see if it affects people for the kingdom BEFORE you invest $20,000 into a bigger publishing venture. Let’s be clear; your book is about GOD touching people, not fame, fortune and the big bucks you will make. Quit worrying about who will publish it and the cover, layout, and editing. Just get started writing and finish it and God will give you all those steps when you need them.

4. Writing down your strategies will make you such a better communicator. You will feel so thankful that you took that leap of faith to develop your own content. 

There is no better feeling than looking back over the places that Satan has kicked your butt with and getting the satisfaction of seeing the Lord lifted high 100 times for all the ten times that the devil stole from you. WOOT! It’s a beautiful, overcoming, dance in the living room, sing in the car, your victory song! There is something so powerful that happens when you take that thought that has been floating around in your heart and head, and you put it down on paper. It comes to life, and now it can be multiplied. Many times I have written a blog, someone saw it and then invited me to speak on the subject, or they emailed me from halfway around the world telling me it ultimately set them free. It is true that you will magnetize to you what you develop the clarity for, if you share it consistently, it will get even bigger.

5. It will be one of the most fulfilling things you have ever done, and you will look back and THANK GOD for the grace he gave you to get it out of you. 

When I look at the transformation that God has brought my clients through my books, I am so humbled by his grace. Every time I take a new client through my team or use it when I speak,  I pause and say, “Only you Oh, Lord”. And we all know this, but only God can take the simple things and give people profoundly, life-altering deliverance with it. I don’t want ever to be the kind of person who is looking back and wondering what it would have been like to obey God fully. I want the whole adventure. Risk, success, and failure.

What did you think? What point resounded with you the most? See you in the comments! Love, Bec:)

3 Tips On How To Set New Boundaries With Old Friends

Here’s the bottom line. If you want to live purposefully, you have to be intentional with WHO you decide to spend your down time with. So what do you do when you’ve changed, but the people around you haven’t OR aren’t willing?

It’s helpful first to understand what the “kingdom” is within you. You see, it’s not this ethereal realm that is mystical for only the super-spiritual people who God really loves. Simply put, whatever you can decide yes or no with… Is your effectual rule.  Ultimately, boundaries are meant to protect your heart and the people under your influence. If you want to influence people authentically, this is a very important revelation for you.

We alone are responsible through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to place boundary stones in pleasant places. It is your identity in Christ to live a significant and fruitful life but only if you consistently enforce it. If you make commitments and break them frequently, now you are perceived as an inconsistent person, and you lose influence and credibility.

 Next, as you grow, one of the situations you might encounter is people around you become fearful that you are going to abandon them if you experience more success. Most of the time, fear and insecurity will manifest as sarcasm, snarkiness, passive control or even individuals cutting you off relationally if you set boundaries that challenge them.

How to reset new boundaries with old friends 

1. It is up to you to help them understand in a grace-filled way, that you are growing in your leadership.

 Remember, you can never EXPECT people to get about you “identity-wise” if you don’t COMMUNICATE and ENFORCE it every-time. Sometimes we think we are very clear with people when the truth is, our actions are not lining up with the identity we profess. It’s not enough to tell people where you would like; you have to teach them by your consistent actions.

The first thing to do in this case is go before God when you are not stressed and determine the 3 to 5 boundaries that you are not willing to compromise on.  The last thing you want to do is sabotage yourself by backing down and creating a situation where the person expects you to not follow through on what you say you are going to do. When I am working with my private clients, I usually keep them at 3 core boundaries as your aim is to reframe the one house, not build a whole new subdivision in one document.

For example, if you feel like this friend or client is habitually making commitments and then backs out at the last minute, you can see that they probably don’t value themselves or their time very well.  When you reschedule to do something with them without bringing up the first situation where they didn’t honor your time, you have now taught them that this is an acceptable pattern for you. So, here’s how to do with grace. When you schedule the second event with them, tell them that you really value spending time with them, but you would appreciate it 8 hours before you are supposed to get together with them, they would text you or confirm by email that the meeting is still on. If they do not text you and you really like them, text them and ask them if you are still on. If they do not respond, you do not head out for this appointment. If they show up and blame you, simply state what the expectations were with confirming the times. And, consider that this is not a person you want in your close friend circle or professional relationship as they will not be consistent with their word in small things. If people can’t be consistent and execute on little things, they will not execute on what’s important to you or them. This is not an individual that will help you birth your dreams.

2.  Begin by telling the people around you where you are going and that you are so excited about creating a thriving, peaceful and stable life.  This means you have to do the work to clarify your goals and vision for the next one to five years. Dig down into developing an idea that will cause you to joy and then start smiling and praying about it daily. That’s faith. I would even include in this vision what kind of people you want to partner with and how you will recognize them when they come into your life. You have to be practical when you reset boundaries. For example, they will tell you how much they appreciate spending time with you by being punctual:). Once you have done the internal work, then watch yourself become more confident, and you will begin to attract more of this kind of people into your life rather than the one’s that sabotage you.

3. Decide what kind of friend and business partner you’re going to be for other people now that you don’t like the old identity.  Up your leadership by requiring from yourself what you want in a friend. It’s biblical. And don’t cut yourself slack. If you want loyal friends who can speak the truth to you in love, then be that for them. If people are struggling with people pleasing or rejection, sometimes this prevents them from communicating when their feelings or hurt. Write a list of WHO you are identity wise and choose to build a bold character. Here’s a couple I require from myself.

I am: someone who prioritizes prayer; I am fit, I laugh at myself, I am surrounded by faithful, loyal, successful women and men. I value giving back and serve fully and to be the best of my ability, when I make a mistake, I say I am sorry. I value relationships over being right. I finish what I start. I eat the fruit of my labor. (Feel free to go on and on:) 

You can rearrange boundaries with grace. Just remember, when you grow into a stronger identity,  it can be threatening to other people. You will create a tension, and people will be forced into two positions. They will either have to disconnect from you because they are not willing to accept this new change in you or best case scenario they will choose to grow themselves and affirm the new identity God is working in your life. Do not hold back rearranging the boundaries that bring you joy because you are afraid people will not like the new you. God does it all the time for my clients and will do it for you!

Need help building an overcoming life and sharing your message with others? Join my Leadership Team! There I can do tons of identity work with you and help you multiply a message you love!

Love, Bec:)

How To Find A Weekly Prayer Partner

Imagine… having a someone in addition to your spouse who was a friend like Jonathan was to David.
Who was faithful to fight beside you through spiritual battles, deep disappointments and was there to see you accomplish your heart’s desires.
Someone you could share your temptations with that wouldn’t make you feel shamed or weak-minded. Someone who would stand with you to see practical goals like weight-loss and living a transformational life fulfilled.
Imagine the peace in your heart, the encouragement you would have, how grateful you would feel,  and how big you could dream and do because of just a few faithful friends.
I AM blessed to have this in my life and today I wanted to share with you five tips that will help you find a faithful friend that will support you so you can be a blessing to others.  

The key to success is to find individuals who will remind you of your faith and your identity in Christ, yet challenge you to live at the level of discipline that will equip you to move through uncomfortable tension. Most individuals really underestimate the amount of personal conflict and warfare they have to overcome to build a transformational life and message and then practically carry that out.

Don’t sabotage yourself by confusing someone listening to you compassionately with real accountability. You don’t just want someone to listen to your struggles; you want to find a weekly prayer partner who is going to challenge you to be bold in Christ and move forward despite your fear.

5 Success Strategies For A Weekly Accountability Partner

1.  Begin to ask God to send you someone who is committed to reading the word of God on a daily basis. Anyone who is going to live a significant life out of their identity in Christ is going to have to know the word.  Why? Because the Christian life is a relationship not rules.  The way you will be conformed to Christ through grace is by spending time with him in the presence of the Holy Spirit.

2. Ask the person if they will block time for talking and praying weekly despite a high level of influence and responsibilities. I will often times do my accountability call while I walk.  I recommend a minimal of 30 minutes a week. The more your reach, the greater and tighter your accountability should be. If you want zero kingdom influence, hide in your house and isolate yourself from anyone who will challenge you.  There is exponential power when you agree in unity on teams which is why I always will facilitate prayer groups.

3. You share for about 5 minutes or 10 minutes each where your struggling. Here’s where you can go south if you are not careful. This is for the purpose of focusing on faith on how you will be an overcomer. Be careful how you share your story as not to perpetuate victimization mentalities.

4. You make sure you speak specific scriptures into your prayers. The word of God is powerful, and it’s a sword. It works when it is used coupled with the power of agreement. Get out your Bible when you pray with your partner and have a scripture or two marked that you can use as a weapon. (And the whip it out and take care of BUSINESS:)

5. Talk about where God has been faithful to you this week and encourage your partner with a grateful heart. There is nothing better than a testimony. It’s what makes us overcomers. Revelation 12:11 And they overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony, and they loved their lives not even unto death. A prayer partner can change your spiritual walk. It is well worth the time to invest into.

The bottom line is one can put a hundred to flight and two a thousand! If you want to grow with grace, find someone to agree with in prayer and watch your breakthrough begin! Let me know if this helped you in the comments!

Love, Bec:)

Women Who Wait: Submission Done Wrong

There are a couple leadership qualities that will really make your life and marriage better. Today, I want to share this scripture with you in the context of communicating boldly in your marriage.

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14

 Do you feel frustrated with your husband’s lack of action about what you think needs to be done? Well, here’s the truth, sometimes men are not aware there is a problem to the level that God is revealing to you.  After training thousands of women, here are couple general mindset shifts that will help you become a wife that get’s results in her home. 

1. Submission does not mean you know what needs to be done and wait for your husband or anyone else for to read your mind, execute and take action. You can eliminate a lot of tension by going to your husband and saying, “Hey, there is a problem with the dryer, or this or that. I was thinking of solving it by doing this and this. What are your thoughts? I am going to make a decision by Friday. If he says, ” I will handle it”, then give him time to work on it and go back if it’s not resolved in a couple days and ask him when he expects to solve it. There have been many times when Jay was going to deal with something and then work came up and got in the way and after a week or so, he just turned it over to me to resolve. Healthy teaming and intimacy has an ETA or everyone get’s frustrated.

2. If there is something deeply burdening you, communicate it to your husband and ask him to agree with you in prayer for a solution. NOW.  God made women emotionally based for a reason. Passionate spirit-led emotions can actually be part of your leadership qualities. We are passionate and that means the problem is going to get solved, like now. I can tell you most men are working so hard to provide for their families they are not always paying attention to what God reveals to you.  Bring to your husbands attention anything you believe needs to be addressed and then ask him if he will agree with you while YOU pray over it. You do not need to wait for him to come to you and say, “Honey, I have been up at 4am praying for the hearts of our children to be slathered in the purposes of God for their life”  The power of agreement and unity is so powerful and what you place your focus on get’s resolved.  When your walking the dog or driving to the store, just pray and ask him to agree with you. Don’t get all religious about who asks who to pray. Most men didn’t grow up with praying Fathers. That’s a mantle you can create for your family in your generation if your bold enough. It also doesn’t have to mean you’re up-surping or emasculating your husband. Get over who starts prayer and just pray for goodness sake. 

3. If you are under consistent oppression in a certain area than ask for help and be willing to try what he suggests without discounting it.  Leadership is usually developed in tension & crisis which is why the military begins there advanced training by giving you 100 obstacles to overcome and seeing how you respond. 

Looking back over the past 30 years, most of all my growth came from times in our marriage where I was reluctant because of my own insecurity to follow through on what he was asking me to do. We were experiencing lack of provision, vision and unity. Jay asked me to go to work and I didn’t want to or I wanted to work and he asked me to stay home. (Both times I was resistant). So many times women are like, “Well, I believe God told me to do this and my husband wants me to that. Ah, no unity means something is off with the picture. Go back into prayer again and again until you get the word of the Lord on how to proceed. There is literally only 2 times out of 28 years when I told my husband, this is a no go for me. I feel very strongly about it and was willing to endure the tension that would produce (and the fruit was excellent) every other time despite my fear I tried what he was suggesting and it worked out in the end. I am not an easy sell when I don’t like the idea so I am telling err on the side of yielding unless you have heard directly from the Lord and have the clarity to stand during the warfare. This works for business too.

The bottom line is follow your husband’s leadership like you want people to respect and follow you. Do you want a bunch of pansies around you, sucking up and waiting on you to do everything because they just want to blame shift to you if it doesn’t work out? Then don’t do that to your husband. Run your house, run your business, make mistakes, give grace during failure and keep going! 

Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Stepping up to the plate in boldness is a process and sometimes there are setbacks. No one’s leadership is perfect but we can all try to work together and gain more courage.

Need to grow a courageous and identity that executes? My Leadership Team is here to support you! Love, Bec:)

How To Write A Book

Wondering how to write a book or coaching manual? Well, it’s easier than you might think. You don’t have to have perfect grammar, sentence structure or talk like a professor. In today’s world where so few Christians live purposely, it is becoming more necessary for everyday people like you and me just to share the testimony God has given us in an authentic, simple way. 

How to write a book for coaching or discipleship is really about breaking things down simply for people, so they can understand how they can receive transformation.  

You know where I began? At 5 am with a journal. I remember a lady telling me early in my walk..”Becky, you have the most simple but captivating thoughts God gives you”. I thought to myself at the time, “That’s nice”. I could never have imagined the simple one liners God was giving me 25 years ago would be used now to encourage people the way they do. And this will blow you away too. 

One of the best strategies I can give you is as you contemplate how to write a book is to believe in the power of getting started. Most people worry to far ahead how God is going to expand them when they haven’t even harnessed their thoughts down on paper or a laptop. Give God something to work with. It’s hard for him to guide a stationary bus.

I have no seminary experience, no one taught me how to write a book, I had no formal writing training, no business classes and majored in Criminology in college. I got B’s in my college writing courses. I have been part of top sales teams with “accidental success”.  You know what impresses God and people in your life? Your faith and boldness! That is what the Father affirms!  Believe if you block time towards your goals (especially in writing) you will be used for HIS glory.

Some of you are wondering how to write a book and the truth is you have a book or two or three in you.

Here are three simple tips on how you can get started today. 

1. Start blocking 1 hour a day to write down specific thoughts on what you think will help the people you want to reach be successful. Seriously. Get up with a cup of coffee and EXPECT that God is going to give you more clarity. Watch how your mind begins throughout the day to perceive more and more strategies.

2. Begin to just write from a conversational tone of voice, like you were writing to a best friend. Part of what makes a coaching manual compelling is you are authentic. Be yourself, tell stories about why you think they will want to do it this way. If you have received a particular revelation, try your best to help people catch it and then give them a scripture to tie it in.

3. Share your pain and what you specifically did to process that hurt that made you successful. It will give God glory and your clients will find you much more relatable. Remember, it’s simplicity that makes you great not elevating yourself over others.

Are you ready to take action and get started writing your own discipleship or coaching content? Join my leadership team! 

How To Lose Weight With Normal Foods

I am 53 years old and have stayed within 10 pounds of the same weight I was in my college. I ride horses, can go on a 5-mile hike in a moments notice and have a pretty consistent energy level. I take time in my Leadership team to train on building a FIT identity because frankly, weight is a huge obstacle for most people.

Today, I want to talk with you about how I set myself up for success when I am ready to slim down after the holidays or I have been traveling and want to drop around 5 pounds. First, I don’t go buy diet, fat-free or artificial sweeteners. I buy normal foods.

I start with quality liquid vitamin, I use Mary Ruth’s Vitamins (am & pm and I am an affiliate) in glass of water, one cup of coffee and one Rhodiola. (Do your own research before following my thoughts. It’s used for energy & vitality. It also helps with anxiety)

Generally, I don’t eat white flour, sugar or meat unless it’s in small amounts. I don’t let myself get hungry unless I am purposely fasting as that’s what leads to over-eating.  WHO CARES if you’re a size 2. What matters is that your healthy, fit and you decompress stress in healthy ways rather than patterns that will lead you to self-sabotage.

Example menu for one day: 

Prayer 5am. Coffee with frothed organic whole milk.

For breakfast at 7am I will have 2/3 cup of Alpen with no sugar, whole milk or 1 piece of Ezekiel break with one fried egg (in a pat of butter).

I am hungry at 10am but will drink hot water w/a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar or cup of hot miso soup. I am always cold so I lean towards steamy drinks even in the summer.

Lunch at 11:30am. Two rice cakes with organic crunchy peanut butter with no sugar. Fruit based jam with it.

2pm: 2/3 Greek plain yogurt with strawberries and honey.

5pm: Salad with tofu, nuts, feta cheese, carrot shreds, spinach, tomatoes. I like Marie’s blue cheese vinaigrette.

7:30pm. Piece of fruit like kiwi, apple, pineapple.

9pm. Bedtime!

 Need help building a bold, fit identity?  Join me on my Leadership team.  There we will work on your boundaries, fitness and overcoming message so you can impact people for the kingdom without feeling compromised!

Faith forward, Bec:)

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