How To Forgive Yourself

Learning how to forgive yourself when you fail is essential to walking in joy and influence.  Most of the time, we don’t even recognize that we are struggling with guilt from past mistakes and how it keeps us stuck in frustrating relational cycles and a molasses pace for our vision.

There are a couple of reason’s why you could be struggling with forgiving yourself.

How To Forgive Yourself In 3 Steps

  1. You may be a very sensitive person emotionally, and you want to serve people with excellence.  You may have very certain components to your identity, but then when you fail, you’re  hard on yourself. It’s an emotional perfectionism. This is classic for performance based or addiction based homes.   We don’t trust ourselves to love correctly, and so we isolate ourselves so that we don’t have to risk injuring others again. Ask God point blank, am I holding back forgiving myself because I am afraid I am going to hurt others again. If you find you are doing, confess over yourself during every memory that comes up, I am a new creation in Christ. It is no longer I that lives but Christ that lives within me. 
  2. We actually can’t believe that just repenting and asking forgiveness & doing our best to make things right is enough.  Ask God about anything you keep rehearsing in your mind failure wise. As you apply basic spiritual warfare principles with your confession, ask God if there is a practical step you can take to make amends to the individual. Always err on the side of asking forgiveness from people you have hurt. If not, then you need a greater revelation of God’s grace in your life. One of my favorite author’s on identity in Christ is Joseph Prince, read this book, it will help you recognize performance-based thinking. Grace Revolution: Experience the Power To Live Above Defeat
  3. We have to forgive ourselves for judging others out of our lack of understanding God’s kingdom principles. First thing, we judge people’s fruit, not their intentions. Even when we do that, correction should be to bring people into more health and not to shame them. And here’s the bottom line, what we judge in others becomes our battle if we are not careful to forgive ourselves for judging them and then ask God to forgive us. For instance, you judge someone on being fat or prideful. Well guess what, now when you overeat, you judge yourself, and it begins this vicious spiritual cycle. Forgive yourself for not being restrained with the cupcakes, forgive others and resist judging and suddenly you walk in more restraint and victory. Pray this, Lord, show me the places I have not forgiven myself or judged others so I can receive your grace to build a new identity. I will sow mercy and receive it for myself. 

Any comments or thoughts you want to share on what God has done for you in this area? Let me know below!

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is the founder and CEO of Successnotsabotage Coaching, located outside Atlanta, Ga. Gifted with a strong teaching and training mission, she has coached, spoken and ministered throughout the United States and overseas. She is a sought-after identity coach and speaker and has authored more than six books. Whether training on how to apply your identity in Christ, pray and break people out of victimization thinking, or multiply your influence authentically, Becky equips Christians for a demonstration of practical power. She transitions pastors, churches and marketplace leaders, into new identities and impact in their sphere of influence. No matter how stuck you have been, Becky will show you how to begin to use what the enemy sabotaged you with for the glory of God.

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