How To Fight Off Discouragement & Dream Death

Find out how to fight off discouragement and dream death quickly. When you a growing a Christian coaching business out of your own resurrection story, you’re going to experience a whole different level of spiritual warfare than a regular Christian coach is going to get. It’s also going to be challenging to learn what you need to know to market your own brand.

And I think learning how to fight off discouragement is difficult to discern because people assume running a Christian coaching business rather than a “ministry” is less spiritual warfare. WRONG! So today, I want to help those of you who are committed to using your own obstacles to encourage others and show you how I have recovered from discouragement and dream death in a month’s time over and over again.

Here’s the good news: God is not afraid of your drama and he ALWAYS has a plan for your deepest heart traumas. We are human and we tend to think that our pain is unique and because of it feel very isolated, feeling like no one can understand the depth of our anguish and rejection. The truth is this is where walking by faith and not by HOW YOU FEEL can be a launch pad for the next season of influence you are getting ready to step into.

First, state the time line you will be healed. This causes you to have an expected end, give yourself time to grieve properly but invite the supernatural in to do it quickly.

This is not attempting to control God, it’s giving yourself a goal in the darkness that can give you hope. In addition, you cannot lead effectively if you are burned out so it’s important that you just admit this quickly and you RAISE your level of self care without guilt. When I realize I am at my breaking point and this for me (after being through it dozens of time) is what I describe as the black hole. I call my two closest friends and tell them I need a serious prayer covering. (Husband already knows and is praying)  I confess I am struggling with oppression and I ask them to take a couple days and lift me up in a specific way as a shield around me. I believe in the power of prayer and have seen it completely transform my life and others. You must feel safe enough with people to let them know you are hurting. I will also ask the elders of my church to pray with me in agreement for the oppression to lift. When you are hurting it’s no time to be John or Jane Wayne. I ask people to agree with me that within 1 month I will experience a miracle. EXPECT BREAKTHROUGH and the power of agreement is extremely powerful. It raises your faith.

Second, you get angry at repeated cycles of failure so get ready to set stronger boundaries because there is no going back. 

I got one scripture for you. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” Ephesians 6:12

You’re not mad at the people in your life. Your mad at the demonic interference behind their decisions. As you coach and speak, you’re going to hit every stronghold that has been in your clients lives, your personal leadership, marriage and your family as you disciple people for Christ. All the gaps are going to be exposed. Sometimes it takes repeated cycles of failure in order to take ground that has been intergenerational. The enemy knows just where to attack you and what you’re weakest link is. You will have to set very clear boundaries that you don’t back up from. This is when you’re going to get honest with yourself and choose to yield to the purging work of the Holy Spirit. You will learn how to raise your leadership level and channel the pain into productive actions. Why? Because goodness and mercy are going to follow you  right after you walk through the valley of the shadow of death if you don’t quit or run. (And you’re not alone though it may feel like you are).

The third cause of discouragement is impatience and this is why so many people quit on their dreams. 

When you pioneer spiritually before people, you see within yourself the potential and the place where God wants to take your clients and the people you love. You can’t stand to see them sabotage their own destiny and delay the purposes of God on their life. You feel like you had to make a mistake believing God for something this large. Looking at the circumstances, there’s no way in this lifetime these people are going to get results.  You feel this desperate lunge for a quicker pace and you watch the life ring that could save them float away from them. It’s a sickening feeling but guess what? Now, God can scoop them up because you have planted and it’s time for God to do his part resurrecting now. God has a pace. Let go and let him take the wheel. He knows when to speed up and when to bring things to a screeching halt. Go back to your vision board and pray specifically over it.

Fourth, discouragement produces an odor that attracts people who have been victimized.

This is why when you are weak, you must be wise about who you share your discouragement with. People who have not experienced the resurrection power of Christ are going to love to console you and wallow with you. When I have been at my weakest, only a fist full of people know. I don’t talk about the pain as the more you tell the story, the more you imprint yourself emotionally with pain. Instead I will get on the treadmill for one hour and listen to worship music. Or I will tackle a huge physical task like painting the outside of my house by myself while I listen to worship music. The husband thinks this is much cheaper for us than me going to the Caribbean and he get’s his projects done. Worship gives you a supernatural ability to heal and keeps your heart tender so you can make good decisions in the pain. One of my favorite albums is United by Hillsong Worship. It opens my heart and helps me cry out the pain. Crying is one of the healthiest things you can do when you’re hurting. Sob like a baby. It’s great for your soul and causes you to go deeper with Christ. He’s going to bottle up all those tears for you for the showers of blessings that are headed your way when he shows up with his resurrection power.

Fifth, you have a desire to ditch your coaching and your ministry. I always want to bail and quit on those around me. 

I want to leave. As in pack a bag and walk right out the door to a beach with a cabana boy serving me fruity drinks with umbrella’s in them. All the scriptures on covenant I know were meant for someone else not me. Now, I’m going to give you permission to take yourself out to dinner and eat chocolate. Now, stay away from the fruity drinks just because the enemy wants nothing more than to create a Margarita idol for you to take away your pain. Ask me how I know this:) I’m giving away my top secrets here…one is 5HTP. When I lose my mind, my own mother asks me…”Becky, are you taking the 5Htp?

Why? Because 100mg of this for a week and I have a reasoning mind again. The first thing that leaves me with stress is sleep and my serotonin crashes. This product helps you stable out in about 2 to 3 weeks if you are exercising along with it.  Now anything over 100mg is going to make you dream WAY TO INTENSE. Also, 3 weeks on and then go off for a week. You don’t want to build up a resistance to it. Do not take this if you are on other medications for depression and OBVIOUSLY I am not a doctor so use your brain and if you’re not sure about whether this is right for you, talk to your doctor.

Resist the devil and his discouragement. Let me pray in agreement with you right now that a spirit of discouragement is going to lift off of you and you are going to receive more faith for the resurrection power of what you are standing for to anoint your head in the presence of your enemies.  Watch and receive here.

Love, Bec:)


Becky Harmon is the founder and CEO of Successnotsabotage Coaching, located outside Atlanta, Ga. Gifted with a strong teaching and training mission, she has coached, spoken and ministered throughout the United States and overseas. She is a sought-after identity coach and speaker and has authored more than six books. Whether training on how to apply your identity in Christ, pray and break people out of victimization thinking, or multiply your influence authentically, Becky equips Christians for a demonstration of practical power. She transitions pastors, churches and marketplace leaders, into new identities and impact in their sphere of influence. No matter how stuck you have been, Becky will show you how to begin to use what the enemy sabotaged you with for the glory of God.

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