10 SUCCESS Strategies For Challenging Transitions

Hindsight is always 20/20. We see the clearest after we navigate through difficult life transitions.

Because of the main ways I serve my clients is helping them turn what sabotaged them into success for others, I want to encourage you today that you can successfully pass through assignments the enemy has for your delay and even destruction. Especially if you see patterns occurring in your life that was in your parents, previous marriages or old spiritual relationships. Patterns are typically there due to either spiritual warfare that hasn’t been addressed or a lack of leadership training that you haven’t committed to.

If you are in significant life/identity shifts to be ALERT to the following ten potential sabotages. These success strategies are time tested not just in my life but have been used by my clients over the past decade with great success. They will help relieve the pressure that changes in vision and different outcomes bring into your spiritual sight and emotions.

Remember before reading these you will not see the result’s of clarity and understanding until you are well away from it. When you are crossing over into a new season, you will feel the sabotages (fear) but must act (faith-filled) to gain success and operate in your identity in Christ.

  1. As best as you can, do not quit or make life defining relational decisions when you feel persecuted, rejected, offended or insecure. There is always a work of God going for your PROMOTION and stability when you feel the most double-mindedness or feel like quitting. You need immense wisdom during transitions, especially those that involve covenant relationships like church matters, marriages, sabotages with your children. SUCCESS=> It is human nature to want to stop the emotional pain and just get a new job, run from your marriage or church relationships, cut off your disrespectful kids or whatever it is that creating the conflict. Breathe. Ask God in prayer to give you the grace to finish what you started all the way to the end. Your identity is to finish what you start. 
  2. Do not ask everyone’s opinion on what you are to do, if so you will come under the fear of man and make a poor decision. You want to take your transition to the Lord in prayer, confess the scripture over it and ask God to confirm to you the way you should go. SUCCESS=>Find one or two people that have already successfully navigated what is challenging you (successful means they have experienced the best case scenario of what could go right) and ask them to coach you through it. Hire someone if needed. Your identity is to be a follower of Christ, not people.
  3. Do not internalize negative circumstances as who you are, or you will become a victim during the transition, not a victor.  When you are the midst of a transition, there can be negative emotions like fear, anger, depression. These all have a tendency to cause you to become introverted and be more negative which will position you with others as a victim. SUCCESS=> Put on worship music and focus on leaning on God for the outcome. Praising God takes our eyes off our situation and into his presence. Smile frequently when discussing your current transition. Your identity is to remain peaceful in Christ because of who you serve not how you perform.
  4. Do not fret or spend anytime projecting what could go wrong in this situation. Worry does nothing but makes you feel more out of control and is harmful. SUCCESS=> Find a scripture and quote it out loud whenever you feel anxious about your outcome. Remember God is good and he will orchestrate what is best for you. I ask God to give me the grace to accept what his will is. Don’t think the scripture, say it out loud as Jesus did. Your identity is to remain in authority in the will of God.
  5. When people ask you how you’re doing, don’t speak about what you’re fearful about. Fear driven statements create those emotions in your body that you have to get now rid of physically. SUCCESS=> Tell them what you expect will happen if you take faith-filled actions and share with them the truth, you’re praying for the perfect will of God to be done! Your identity is to take bold action and remain courageous.
  6. Don’t sabotage yourself by not accepting help if people offer. God meant for the body of Christ to work in unison. You’re not supposed to be able to handle transition alone or do it perfectly by yourself. SUCCESS=> Practice saying yes to people’s invitations and considering the best outcome of what they might be suggesting to you. Think about that! It might go well if you accept their help! Your identity is to be surrounded and supported by trustworthy and encouraging spiritual family during painful transitions. 
  7. Don’t delay or procrastinate. When people don’t know what decision feels right or they don’t know what the will of God is, they delay taking action. Most likely your situation is one most everyone has had to solve. SUCCESS=> Set a timeline for making decisions and consult with someone who has solved this successfully. Ask them to pray with you and make a decision. If you’re asking God in prayer to hear him about this situation, trust him that he will make it clear to you the direction he wants you to take. Execute on what you think is best within the timeline. Trust God with the outcome. Your identity is to break through gates and cut through iron. The gates of hell will not prevail against you the church! 
  8. Don’t use I’m busy, tired, feeling far away from God… as an excuse to bump prayer. Without prayer, you’re not honestly depending on him to guide you. SUCCESS=>Bring your problem to God, read what the word of God has to say about it and then sit and listen. Write down what you believe God spoke to you. Your identity is to be in fellowship, hearing God daily for your next instructions. 
  9. Don’t hide in your house or stay sedentary if you’re super smart. Intellectuals have a tendency to introvert their emotions and over think problems. They exhaust themselves with what if’s! SUCCESS=> Go walking, running, play tennis, pray in tongues while you walk. Do something to sweat and force yourself to process out the heaviness you’re experiencing from your transition. Your identity is to be filled with power in the Holy Ghost and receive supernatural edification for your challenges!
  10. Don’t process your stress with food and alcohol. Food may seem like a comfort, but the wrong kinds of foods just make you feel more cloudy and sluggish. SUCCESS=> Eat as healthy as you can during the transition, and don’t overindulge as that just creates more condemnation for you which doesn’t help! Your identity is to be moderate and model restraint and power under control.

Are you in a difficult transition right now? Leave me a comment below about your specific situation and let me be praying for you!

Faith forward! Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Where Are You On The Grit Scale?

This is a guest post by Business Strategiest, Beverly Lewis. I followed this blog up with a private question/answer time with my Leadership Team.

Unintimidatable. Now there’s a $50 word. It has popped up numerous times as I have reflected on the nuances of mental toughness.

Intimidatable means being reduced to a state where the spirit is broken or courage is lost.

Thus unintimidatable implies strength of mind in the face of forces that would disrupt, distract, and deter. It defines an unwillingness to give in to a sense of inferiority or back down. It is the relentless ability to maintain vision, faith, and optimism. It results in the achievement of goals and the accomplishment of dreams.

Mental toughness can’t be bottled, bought, or borrowed. You only come by it the hard way – you develop it. Psychologist Angela Duckworth conducted fascinating research about what she calls the “Grit Scale.” Grit has little to do with IQ, genetics, personality or talent – yet it is a strong predictor of success
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Duckworth studied thousands of people; ranging from West Point cadets to undergraduate students at elite universities to children who qualified as finalists in the Scripps National Spelling Competition. She calls grit the power of passion and perseverance. Another researcher, Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, states, “Attitude is more important than IQ in determining success.”

It is fascinating how often modern scientists often announce breakthrough research that is technological validation of timeless Truth. When it comes to grit, look at the lives of Moses, Abraham, Joseph, David, Paul, and ultimately Jesus. The Hall of Faith is filled with those who displayed all the characteristics of mental toughness. The formula for mental toughness is basic:

No discomfort = no growth.
No pushing = no toughness.

One day, while sweating it out at the gym, I noticed someone’s t-shirt that said, “It doesn’t ever get easier, you just get stronger.” That’s true of every aspect of life and brings us to the importance of developing your physical stamina. Successnotsabotage Coach, Becky Harmon, has always taught clients to pair physical training with spiritual and mental development for remarkable results. I’ve known Becky for years, and for a long time I, resisted her continuous challenges to train for a race. As I struggled in the process of writing my book, Becky threw down the gauntlet and said, “if you’re serious about obtaining this victory, it’s time to run.” I was finally ready to listen and began training for a half-marathon.

I am certain it is not coincidental that I finished my book the month after I completed the race. Was it tough? Absolutely. Did I love the process? Absolutely not. Was it worth it? Unequivocally – yes!!
The battlefield of the mind is where grit is refined. Grit is a fundamental quality of leaders and is developed through a disciplined thought life. Mental toughness is the ability to remain consistent and produce at the peak of your ability despite feelings of inadequacy and lack. It means you finish what you start.

Five Indicators of Mental Toughness:

  • You have an ability to absorb unexpected emotional peaks and valleys and are still able to have peace and humor in the midst of it.
  • You maintain integrity under pressure and sustain a powerful fighting spirit against seemingly impossible odds.
  • You have an ability to take a punch emotionally and bounce back quickly from disappointments, rejection and missed opportunities.
  • You understand the power of words in influencing your own behavior and take negative thoughts captive. (See 2 Corinthians 10:5)
  • You have the discipline to choose what you want most over what you want now.

Just as pearls are formed inside the shell of certain mollusks as a defense mechanism against a potentially threatening irritant, grit is developed in response to adversity. The result is unique and valuable.

Pearl has become a metaphor for something rare, fine, admirable and precious. Mental toughness is a pearl in the strand of leadership qualities necessary for success. The next time you encounter resistance, remember: No Grit, No Pearls. Be unintimidatable.

[guestpost]Beverly Lewis is an Executive Trainer, Speaker and Leadership Coach. She is the CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) of BeverlySpeaks.com. Strong teams, enduring relationships, and dynamic, healthy organizations are built when this energetic business catalyst brings her brand of business from the heart. Her first book, Win From Within: The Heart of Success and Significance is born out of 35 years of work with over 10,000 professionals, in-depth research on leadership, communication, and lessons from her entrepreneurial ventures.[/guestpost]

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Monday Motivation From Christ

BLESSED ARE THOSE THAT ARE BROKEN IN SPIRIT!

How’s that for Monday Motivation?

I teach on mental-toughness. I love vision casting and mindset training. I love challenging myself to receive new breakthrough.

But here’s the thing. You will go through seasons of your Christian walk where God is refining you to answer your prayers and glorify Christ. You might be suffering and that doesn’t mean you missed the plan or his will.  God is going to be with you every minute today. He’s going to remind you of his presence. You don’t have to rah-rah yourself out of anything. Just be who you are today but do reach out to get support.

If you’re in pain, God will be in pain with you and God will send support to pray you through your challenge. (Which is why I love teams)

Your identity is that you are as loved in suffering as you are in success! A matter of fact, there is no prayer blessing that says=> BLESSED ARE THE SUCCESSFUL! For your’s is the kingdom of God! Have a day FILLED with his love and his embrace. And remember, you’re blessed!

Faith forward, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Welcome To Boot Camp For Christians: Militant Action!

Do you feel misunderstood? Minimized or disrespected? If so, this has the potential to turn you from being a passive inconsistent person into an assertive, militant individual who moves from success to success.

It is an opportunity to do important things for the kingdom of God. Typically the deeper rejection comes from your spouse, family and closest friends so the intensity of it throws you off your game.

Did you know this is spiritual warfare to prevent you from stepping into a bold identity and a life that influences others?

But that’s how you know you have entered your calling “boot camp”. Did you know you can ask “The Holy Spirit Comforter” to be a “Drill Sergeant” for your own good?

And some of you might be saying…“Becky, have you lost your mind? Why would I want to know God this way”? 

Now most Christians are more comfortable with seeing the Holy Spirit as a feminine, nurturing, feel-good chick-flick watching friend rather than an aggressive, masculine, strong force that TRAINS you on strategic action. 
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This mindset (and there are whole charismatic movements around this theology) has never made sense to me. If you’re focus is not militant from the start of stepping into your calling, it dilutes your resolve if you do not receive HIM in the fullness of his role. 

Briefly HE: 

1. The Holy Spirit points to Jesus so he can be glorified. Do you want to know if someone is spirit filled? It’s not speaking in tongues! They are going to be talking about the Lord all the time! 

2. The Holy Spirit convicts us. This is to make us more successful in Christ! If you’re not getting disciplined, you’re not being MENTORED by God! God disciplines those he loves! 

3.The Holy Spirit comforts us when we are discouraged. You will fail and fail, but his job is to assure you of your eternal salvation and point to your identity in Christ. Free from condemnation.

4. He is the ultimate recon ranger in our life. He is always looking ahead telling us which way to go to bring us victory!

So think of this=>  John the Baptist was a forerunner for Jesus and he was eating bugs, living in the desert and was beheaded for taking a stand for righteousness. (Sounds militant to me)

 Jesus was led into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit to be tested for 40 days without food and water, had to battle demonic forces and was crucified for our sins and then his 12 closest team members were martyred some of them upside down, boiled in oil and torn in two. (Sounds militant to me)

Fast forward to modern Christianity. Has God gotten old and feeble? Or is the truth we want a feel good Holy Spirit friend rather than submitting ourselves to the kind of mental toughness training that makes us mighty Christians!

I want you to know I don’t see my heavenly Father as a slave driver or divine police officer. However, I am thankful that he has given me a revelation of his persona and power. I am grateful he told me to suck it up buttercup when I was whining about people not liking me and how I didn’t like being persecuted and made fun of. It gave me the focus to build my coaching company when so many people were telling me it would never work!

And that is the dichotomy of God. He is the prodigal’s father who throws a feast upon his return with no repercussions and the Father who sends his own son to die an excruciating death on our behalf.

The primary intent I have is to prepare you for success and to prepare you for suffering. An authentic Christian life is going to be full of both. It’s important that you see yourself as a soldier fit for battle. 

Here’s what I want you to know if you feel rejected right now. It doesn’t matter if it’s your weight, a spouse or friend that’s rejecting you, a lay-off or a church experience that has left you deeply disappointed.

If you can look at this it as Holy Spirit led mental training that is intended to separate you from normal Christianity, you will FLY through this phase of training. Because the last thing you want is to be a normal Christian. Typical Christians can’t do the things that Warriors are are asked to do.

I am not trying to offend you but here’s the truth!

It’s normal for most Christians to attend church, equivocate that with spirituality but not understand their real identity and authority.

It’s normal for most Christians to not have clarity for their life and calling. 

It’s normal for most Christians to live offended with others and respond to people according to the world. 

It’s normal for most Christians to be independent and not understand why covenant, teaming and unity is so crucial to taking ground from demonic forces.

It’s normal for most Christians to be double-minded, angry and insecure.

It’s normal for most Christians not to be able to operate in a particular zone of spiritual gifting that is genuinely transformational for others. 

So the last thing you want is to be NORMAL! You want to be militant and unbending in your focus! 
Join my Leadership Team today and start building a extra-ordinary Christian life! 

Experience everything God has for you this year! Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

10 Ways To Build A Fit Identity

The number one New Year’s Resolution for Americans is LOSING WEIGHT. It’s also one of the top goals that people are unsuccessful with. Here’s the thing that bothers me and I want to help you solve. Every time someone starts a goal and doesn’t finish it, it can open the door for spiritual warfare that in the beginning, may not be a big deal.

However, later on, and after repeated failures, can make you see yourself identity wise as someone who starts but doesn’t finish. Someone who is double-minded and inconsistent. MINDSETS are the foundation for success or sabotage which is why we are told biblically to renew our minds with the word of God. It’s so much better to make SMALL MINDSET changes that you stick with.

I have seen over the years these work over and over again not just for me but for my clients as well.

  1. As soon as you decide to become fit, make your number one goal to SPEAK grace-filled, energetic words over yourself. This is first and foremost because all LASTING change comes from the way that you see yourself identity-wise. For example=> I AM losing weight without effort (unless you just want it to be hard!). I love my body and the way I look. I am thankful for my health and Lord; I AM giving my spirit, soul, and body to you today to use as you see fit. I expect to live to be a 100 and that my latter years will be greater than my former years. (Say this every time you find yourself fretting about the way you look, how crappy you feel or how discouraged you are)
  2. Pray and ask God for a long-term plan for eating. You don’t need my plan; you don’t need Dr. Atkins plan. You need your plan that God gives you for your life and schedule. Men who are construction workers are going to have a different plan than women who are sitting at a desk all day on the computer. I know this makes sense to you. Have one prayer time, specifically for asking God how to eat daily and what to stay away from. Expect God to speak to you in your voice not send a fitness angel to you. Worship him for a bit, ask him directly and write down exactly what he tells you. God is not going to tell you to eat oranges and nuts for a week. That’s stupid and will rip up your stomach. Mindset=> Longterm, you’re going to eat like this for a year.
  3. Start on a quality vitamin and/or Rhodiola if you are exhausted or feel mentally confused.  No one who has an eating or addiction issue in their background should be without these 2 nutritional supports in my opinion. Research it yourself, (you cannot mix with anti-depressants). It helps boost your serotonin, muscle recovery and gives you mental clarity. I discovered this when I began to go through severe menopausal symptoms and it was AWESOME!  if you’re stressed or anxious. I take one at 9 am and one at 3pm. Remember, always do your own research on natural remedy’s!
  4. Carry your backup food and water in the car and in your purse. People go through drive thru’s generally for two reasons. #1 They are hungry and can’t wait to get home. #2 They comfort themselves with food when they are stressed. So, know this about yourself and plan ahead without feeling shamed! I carry smoked almonds, raisins and mineral water in my car in a food bag. Unless I am fasting on a pre-arranged day, I do not allow myself to get hungry. The moment my stomach growls, I drink water and have a handful of nuts.
  5. Next time someone wants to hang out with you, ask them to go walking NOT eat food. Now, you can do this a lot more than you think because the truth is in America we are ingrained with a Starbucks mindset. If you’re in sales than you have to probably eat out with clients but you might be surprised at the amount of “walk-meetings” you can have. People LOVE this and it you help them get fit! I don’t have coffee, lunch meetings if I can help it, I have walk and prayer meet ups! This is perfect for people who are in ministry and doing discipleship!
  6. Go to bed on time at the same time every night. Do you want to know why you binge? You’re tired. Want to know why you’re undisciplined? You’re tired. You get the point. Know this about yourself and quit pushing yourself to clean your house, finish the project and otherwise treating yourself like a modern day slave. You will be amazed at how this one thing SUDDENLY makes you self-controlled and energetic! You need at least 6 to 8 hours to function well. Closer to 8!
  7. Walk every day as much as possible. Park far away and push your cart. Stand when you can sit. If your hundred pounds overweight, start with 100 ft to your mailbox and the next day add one more step. Make it a game. If you need more challenge than sign up for a 5K or half marathon and announce on Facebook you need a walking buddy. You might just start a movement!
  8. Buy an outfit one size down than where you are right now that you like! Here’s the fun with this, it’s a great motivator and you will wear it for a month or two and then you have the blessing of giving it away to someone else~ Depending on how much you want to lose, keeping it for holiday weight gain when you’re a one or two sizes smaller. THIS WORKS!
  9. Purpose to build relationally with people who love to be outside. The more you’re inside, the fatter you’re going to be, and then you feel like everyone is judging you because you’re fat, so it’s easier to hide in the house! Schedule yourself to do something outside daily and in the sun as much as possible. I can tell you as a fit person and someone who hangs around with fit people, I have NEVER heard anyone say anything negative about fat people walking their dogs, exercising or doing something active. It’s the opposite. People think, “Well good for them! They are trying!”I say this because after coaching hundreds of people through this, I know just the cow mooing at them in the dairy aisle makes them paranoid. (I have had numbers of clients tell me this makes them want to cry!)
  10. When you’re upset, stressed and in turmoil, walk and ask a friend to pray with you. If you’re that upset, you’re not going to get any work done well anyway. Keep a pair of walking shoes at your desk at work and get a good pair of socks at the local running store. (You can feel the difference in 15.00 dollar wicking socks, they feel like a pillow in your shoes). If you’re overloaded or depressed, walk in the sunshine. People so underestimate the power of walking, sweating and decompressing in fresh air.

So, which strategy is the one you are going to implement first?

Also, you are more likely to stay consistent if you’re surrounded by other people with the same goals! This is work I do on my Leadership Team. 

Faith Forward! Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Ministry Vs. Business: What’s Holier?

Find out in today’s video what being about your “Father’s Business” really means.

Faith Forward, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Are You Looking For Permission Or Power?

One of the things that attract people into my teams and makes us different from business mastermind groups is our emphasis on prayer, identity in Christ training and using your message to point people to Christ in your business.

When you come into our leadership team, you are released into an authority that sometimes, people aren’t used to operating in from a spiritual standpoint. I ask those who join my groups to see themselves as leaders, not wait for others to give them permission and to do the daily work that is going to position them to pioneer in their families and businesses.

The thought never occurred to me when I launched my business to ask anyone’s permission on whether I could teach the good news, disciple, coach, or pray with hurting people. Jesus gave me that mandate in Matthew 28. My husband said, “This is something you’re great at,” because he had seen the fruit of my life for thirty years and the discipline I had. That’s all I needed. If my business wasn’t God ordained, guess what? I wouldn’t have stayed in business for ten years and have powerful testimonials, which I do by God’s grace and they grow by the year.

It’s okay to ask questions about whether someone has legitimate authority, it’s called being careful to watch out for wolves. I want you to know, walking in authority will create tension with those you love and even those you want approval from.

The overall theme that I weave into my training is to stop waiting for people to give you permission to preach, teach, coach, speak and set people free. If someone wants to disagree or question your credibility, point to the fruit Christ has produced in you and not a theology debate which frankly, you will never gain peace from. And here’s the thing, there are always going to be haters and those who question your legitimacy.

But here’s the bottom line you need to know as a potential messenger=>

The pain and places in your life that have been a wilderness, God can use to share Christ with a hurting world. People are changed through preaching Christ crucified; they are set free by your vulnerability, your transparency and the power in which you walk. That comes from your authority in Christ. Whether you blog about it, write and turn it into a neighborhood discipleship manual, start a business coaching, pastor in a church plant, none of that makes a difference, you need to be resolved in your authority, which comes from the Father’s affirmation not from an accrediting organization. He calls. You obey.

I desire to see Christ glorified through what sabotaged me. If you have the same identity and heart, I want to encourage you to press through the fear of what people will think of you. It’s nothing but a delay of the enemy to stop you from reaching those who need the message you have within you. Remember, you can’t wait for permission today and walk-in power tomorrow.

If you could get free from needing permission, what would you do for the kingdom? Meet you in the comments below!

Helping you pray, coach, speak and write for HIS glory, Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Feeling Alone Can Be A Good Thing

I’m thankful to live in out in the country with my horses, wake up every day to pray for my family and clients and to have a business that is kingdom focused. I have a fiercely loyal husband as well as inner circle of friends, but that doesn’t mean I have never felt isolated and alone.

Feeling Alone Can Sometimes Come From Standing For The Truth But It’s Worth Every Bit Of Tension

I recently had a client come to me and share with me that she was going through a terrible situation with someone in their family who was making wrong decisions. It was breaking her heart.

She was struggling with tremendous anxiety and second guessing because this situation wasn’t getting any better. She told me she knew they needed support, but they were stuck in not knowing what to do, fearing what people would think and frankly she was afraid of having to be the “bad guy.”

I have felt this a couple of times in my life and can be paralyzing. My Father died an alcoholic after many of my attempts to encourage him to get help and even as a mother of four children; I have experienced the pain of rebellion and decisions that brought us great anguish.

However, because I have always followed a particular model in my life when those around me are making poor decisions, I am thankful to say I came out the other side with more grace on my life and experiencing the resurrection part to my pain and you can too IF YOU MAKE THE CHOICE I will reveal to you.

I have used this process again and again in my life and to help my clients build new identities. Not too bad for someone who had no business or seminary training.  I have built this message through Christ, and that’s why it has power. You will find the same when you begin to multiply your message practically.

But here’s the thing. I knew when I launched my business; I wasn’t going to partner anymore with people who wanted to be victims. I didn’t care how brilliant, famous they were, or if they had celebrity status. I wasn’t going to support it in my family, friendships or business.  And let me tell you, I got some flack.

Becky, you’re not compassionate. Jesus was forgiving. Becky, you don’t want to hang around those who are less successful than you. You’re prideful, asking too much and being demanding. You’re this, you’re that. But here’s the thing.

Sometimes people are so stuck in their old identity and the emotional pay-out from positioning themselves as victims of circumstances and even the “devil” that the longer you placate them or stay silent about their idolatry, the more emeshed they get in it. In addiction training, they call this enabling.

And here’s what happens when we don’t require those we are in covenant with to be consistent with who they say they are to the rest of the world.

We end up resenting the person we are trying to serve. Then we have to harden our hearts or self-medicate ourselves.
We protect them from having to mature from their failures and grow up in Christ.
We prioritize their idolatry over our health, joy and peace.
We end up internalizing the fear and anger we feel, and we feel further confused. It affects our finances, our walk with God and our witness. We slide deeper into hopelessness and despair.
We live a lie and we wonder why we can’t move into the goodness God has for us.

I know some people call this is a disease, and yes, you’re right it is a disease. It’s called the disease of sin. We all have it. Lust, pride, addictions, we all can submit to this illness that breaks the covenant, destroys the next generation and dilutes any power of God on our lives.

God has a remedy for this. It’s called repentance, turning our face to him in worship and accountability. If they will not repent and choose God rather than the sin, they need a lot more pain. Is that okay to say?

Pain makes them hit bottom and finally look up to God and tell him, I am open to hearing that my mindsets have not served me well and I’m ready for you to renew mine. I want to be a new creation and not go back to this bondage. I appreciate what I have been given, and I don’t want to lose it.

The truth is there are times you are going to feel isolated because you’re the only one in the room who is standing for the truth.

It breaks my heart, and that is much of why teams are a foundation of my business today. God set’s the isolated in spiritual family. When you choose to build a new identity, you’re going to have to have people around you who desire to live a purposed life as much as you do. Living purposely requires a personal discipline. God takes living in a restrained, honorable way seriously. For more reading scripturally on this, go to Exodus 32.  So don’t come under Satan’s condemnation that you are harsh because you won’t compromise your leadership and identity for others who don’t know theirs.

The Fear Of Loss Can Be Paralyzing

We are afraid to lose the one’s we love. However, sometimes we are so afraid of loss that we never call people up to who they can become. We don’t want to have more faith in Satan’s ability to bind than in God’s ability to set people free.

This belief that people won’t change is a poverty mentality rooted in doubt and fear. People do change, but the change only comes when the people closest stop enabling and refuse to compromise anymore on their own identity. If you’re a Christian, that’s peace, righteousness, and joy. If they choose not to accept help then you have to disconnect yourself from the ensuing chaos they will experience as a result of their idolatry, or you will be sucked into the black hole with them.

If I stand up for the truth, everything will explode

This is a lie. It typically comes from the fear of the unknown. When we don’t confront people’s poor choices is usually because we fear the ensuing emotional toil we are going to pay. Either rejection, anger, belittlement, financial loss or fear of others will say.

Enabling is a false peace and security. You don’t have peace. You have you juggling control balls in the air but rest assured at some point, you won’t be able to keep them moving. And don’t think Satan isn’t crafty at this time bringing up all the times that you fell short as a spouse, parent, friend, boss. Peace is available to you, but it’s a fruit of right choices, right relationship with God and boundaries that protect everyone. If you’re a leader, your responsibility is to safeguard the whole team and family, not just one person.

What you do in crisis says a lot about you and the story you come away with after one

Individuals who finish and overcome are typically those who face the facts rather than denying it, focus on solving the problem and execute action consistently. Also, this is when understanding your identity in Christ can make the difference between sabotage or success. The more your identity is in how people perceive you, your looks, your material possessions or your expectations of how the situation needs to be resolved for you to feel satisfied, the less likely you are to make right decisions.

Also, some of the best lessons learned are when you learn to trust your intuition and question those in authority. Some people are superb at acting confident or sharing with you their creditionals and why you should believe them. Don’t confuse certifications with credibility gained from experience. Here’s a great question to ask someone who wants to mentor you through your crisis.

Tell me the greatest obstacle God has helped you overcome and the victory you gained out of it. 

Sit back and watch what comes out of their mouth. You’re either going to be filled with faith by their testimony and get support in the right place or you’re going to close your wallet and move onto interviewing the next mentor.

Have you experienced this situation? What did you learn out of it? See you in the comments below!

Helping you pray, coach, speak and write for HIS glory, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

5 Tips For Launching A Life Coaching Business

 

life coaching

Before you move forward into becoming a Life Coach or speaker which I have to tell you is one of the most amazing and fulfilling callings, I want to offer you some thoughts to consider BEFORE launching.

When people come to me, and they want to grow their own consulting or coaching practice, they sometimes under-estimate the amount of work that is necessary to grow a business from the ground up. This is especially true for those who have no knowledge of how to build a platform, write, social media or how to be able to juggle ten balls a day until you have momentum.

I love faith. I love the passion, but the truth is that will have to be balanced with a BUTT-LOAD of work if you don’t have someone opening the door for you or you are not an already established TV personality or book author. Building a brand is a lot of hard work and even more so if you don’t have a recognizable name. Here are some things to consider and prepare as you get ready to launch. I built my whole practice profitably with no connections, but I had to be very consistent and structured about how I marketed and the following will help you have the right mindset for serving people powerfully.

  1. Coaching is an unregulated industry. So, follow me on this line of thought. Your certification (which I think is helpful and recommend)  does not mean much as related to you gaining leads and growing profitably. It is not like becoming certified as an X-Ray technician means you are going to be able to walk into a job immediately. Or you graduated from seminary, so now you can work at a church.  Your certification just means you have training (by an unregulated industry)  on how to ask people questions and help them solve their problems. Unless you are aiming for a corporate track which is going to require specific training, this is important for you to understand, so you decide immediately what specific direction to follow to close sales. I have never had one person ask me where I went to coaching school. What they ask me is can you help me solve this specific problem.
  2. If you want to coach others on being an overcomer, make sure your identity is clear, bold and your leadership strong before you launch as if you’re identity is diluted, so, therefore, will be your BRAND. This is where my ministry experience helped me. I had a very intense experience coming out of an alcoholic home with God and him helping me problem solve in my own life out of some very sabotaging patterns. Food, alcohol, social anxiety, selfishness, running from confrontation. When I learned how to be an overcomer in my own life and grow my influence, I began to teach small neighborhood groups and take on more leadership in my secular job and church. I was consistent, and I had a history of successfully training others on how to live victoriously. This sounds simple but if you genuinely don’t feel like you have accomplished anything significant through God than you probably shouldn’t launch a faith-based BUSINESS because you’re not going to be able to attract any clients. People are attracted to confidence and clarity of vision. Start attacking some big goals on a personal leadership level if you need more identity work.
  3. I realized pretty quickly in my coaching that if I was going to fill a pipe line and make money I was going to have to discover what my unique expertise was. This is now what I teach in my yearly Summit, as staying in your BOLD IDENTITY ZONE.  When you were in coaching school, they might have called this niching. I have a little different slant on that because of my bend for how God transforms people. It is always through the boldness of the messenger and a TESTIMONY that is authentic, truthful and has DEMONSTRATION on it. Don’t worry about knowing everything about “God.” Just tell people what he had done for you and do it boldly. So, if God has never done anything for you to help you become an overcomer than guessing what? You’re faith is weak. But if God has TAKEN YOU THROUGH SOME THINGS and you learned how to help other people overcome that same thing, you’re now an EXPERT at something. And this is what I teach people to harness in a way that they can grow a pipe line without feeling slimy. Never be a nice, generic Christian. Be a Christian that walks in a demonstration of power!
  4. If you want to grow consistently, understand you will have to build a platform through speaking, social media or with connections that will give you consistent referrals. You will have to serve with blogs, teleconferences, speaking, videos. The pastor has a pulpit. You need to get ready to step into a “pulpit” once a week minimally. If you have no experience with social media than I suggest you learn before you launch this kind of business because you will have to learn it under pressure and all while writing and serving clients. Owning your own business is a sacrifice, and if you’re an introvert like me, you have to pace yourself but understand you’re going to have to work HARD, in the beginning, to grow successfully.
  5. Create one specific system for every three results you help people solve. This is key to keeping a pipe line full in addition to building a consistent marketing wheel. My first system was called Bold Identity, and I marketed specifically to people who wanted to become consistent in three specific areas of their life. Prayer, fitness and building a purposeful vision. What I found is when I began to create blogs, content, and FINISH writing the system, I suddenly began to receive divine appointments to help people accomplish those three things. Again, I had to work at it, but I lined up speaking, provided free teleconferences, blogged, all around these three specific results. People pay for RESULTS not “life coaching.” To this day, I don’t call myself a life coach. Because I’m not. I am great at helping people discover how to walk boldly and then multiply their message in others.

Have a desire to launch a business but need support? Join my Leadership team where I have all the resources and training to make your launch easier and faster.

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

Striving Vs. Wrestling

In this video I do training on  the difference between striving and wrestling for your vision when you are going to build an impactful kingdom life that makes disciples.

So many times people quit because they don’t want to move out a “grace” zone and they feel like they are striving when in reality they are WRESTLING like Jacob did with seeing their deepest heart desires realized.

If your dream involves giving God glory when you succeed, guess what? You’re going to go through what Paul did. PAIN AND SUFFERING!  We preach JESUS RESURRECTED when we overcome though HIM!

Colossians 1:28-29 We proclaim Him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, striving with all His energy working powerfully within me.

If your desire energizes you, don’t give up. To those around you, it may seem like you are trying too hard and not “resting” in Christ.

If your goals (and even ambitions) will help you influence more people for Christ don’t give up. Your trust will increase as you refuse to quit.

If you feel the kiss of God’s presence when you do it, then don’t give up on your dreams. It not about pleasing others, making more money, it’s about saying YES to the higher place God has for you and refusing to be limited by even your own efforts.

I have a powerful prayer for you at the end and together, Christ will strengthen you for his glory! Meet you in the comments below with your thoughts!

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon is a coach, speaker, and entrepreneur. Her success in these arenas has placed her in demand as a personal advisor to ministry and marketplace leaders world-wide.  To discover how you can build an influential life and reach people for Christ out of the most sabotaging of circumstances, order 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare. It breaks down the individual strategies and prayers you need at each phase of your walk to remember WHO YOU ARE and stay faith-filled through even the most difficult challenges. Purchase it today on Amazon and Kindle. 

 

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