Sabotage: One of the things that is common for people who come out of shame-based or addiction-based homes is that they have difficulty being child-like or having fun. This is truly defeating because it will affect your closest relationships as well as any creativity needed to grow a business or ministry. Much of the reason I see people struggle with this in coaching is because they were on survival mode as young children or adults and had to parent themselves. They are vigilant and have difficulty letting down.
It causes them to hold back or fear coming across as someone who doesn’t have it all together. Sometimes people interpret stoic individuals as prideful but from a prayer perspective, the root of pride is fear. Fear causes you to build walls that insulate you from risk and deep intimacy. However, Jesus tells us he loves when we are child-like and that it helps us be very successful in the kingdom of God! This is something important we want to integrate into our lives to avoid self-sabotaging ourselves. Avoid attempting to project a “cool” image and instead be who God created you to be.
SUCCESS: 5 Ways To Become More Child-Like Today
- Affirm yourself for asking questions. Here’s typically what shame-based people do. They squash down their questions as “stupid”. They stay in the background and don’t move to the front seat in class because they struggle with internalizing failure as WHO THEY ARE. They want to appear to other people they have it all together so they don’t risk coming across not in control. In Christ, you are actually ENCOURAGED to be child-like and ask all the questions you want. Questions lead to increased imagination and creativity!
- Purpose to do something weekly if not daily you are passionate about. It seems like an oxymoron to have to MAKE yourself block time for having fun but whatever is not comfortable for you will always be pushed to the back-burner. God is a good Father. He loves when we get excited about the things he gave to us to bring a blessing. Anything that ADDS joy to your life and helps you become a better person is from the Lord. Don’t just give, give, give yourself into a barren place. Block time for what energizes you.
- Choose FAITH over fear. Kids are notorious for impulsive action. They don’t wrestle over the ramifications of their choices. Don’t let fear paralyze you from taking the steps that you feel nudged by God to take. You don’t need to do it perfect, just move forward one step today.
- Reward yourself for overcoming fear. Who doesn’t love a payout when they do the right thing rather than the wrong action? One of my horses Royal (the 16 hand beast) is terrified of spray paint cans, boxes, plastic bags. Horses are FLIGHT animals when they are afraid and have to be taught to trust their riders. I have had to work to build relationship with him because apparently he was driven to perform by previous owners and was very distrustful of anyone coming near him. He didn’t like me touching his head, ears or even approaching him in the field. The first year we owned him, we called him the “don’t touch me horse”. One of the things I did for Royal to build trust is reward him with a small treat (he loves fruit loops) when he touches his nose to whatever I am asking him to not be afraid of.
- Be persistent in prayer. Let me tell you I have four kids and LOL! When they wanted something, they were excellent at asking and asking and bugging and reminding and finally, they usually received what they were asking for if they were persistent enough. Sometimes Jay and I would ask them for an idea on how they could make money to get what they wanted and help them set it up. Sometimes we would just buy it for them because it was a birthday or holiday gift. The bottom line is your father is a good dad. He wants you to feel comfortable enough bugging him in prayer for what will be a blessing to you and others. Be persistent in prayer to ask God for what brings you joy.
Question! What do you love to do that brings you child-like joy? Meet you in the comments! Love, Bec:)