Can you relate to this line of thinking? “Well, sure, I have been successful for x amount of time, but it will never last long term.”  I have heard this from numerous clients and yes, I used to have the very same thought going through my mind every time I started a new venture. It didn’t matter if it was a diet, an exercise class, job or a relationship that was going well. Sure, others deserved financial success, happy marriages, fulfilling ministry partnerships, prosperous business ventures, healthy and fit bodies, but not ME!

Deep in my heart and unknowingly, the message I sent myself daily was that I deserved to struggle. I saw myself as someone who could never have stability, provision or peace. Why? Because I did not have a clear understanding of who I truly was in Christ. My mental picture of myself had been conformed by pain, yo-yo results and those around me who had grown up having to struggle themselves. The bottom line is, the clearer your identity is in any given area, the more consistent success you will experience.

Have you said this to yourself? “Well, I am just too busy to exercise, I don’t have time.” Or, “I deserve to have that cheeseburger, or that extra glass of wine (you know, it’s been a hard day with the kids), etc.  I didn’t know how to build gracefully, so I “treated” myself with food, alcohol and financial splurges to medicate my pain and self-rejection. The truth was, I could not live or pace myself in a balanced way.

I couldn’t exercise self-control or moderate any part of my identity. I especially did not take time to invest in myself daily with a walk/run while enjoying the sunshine. I was driven through my day. In my experience, these are the signs of a clouded identity and the roots can come from a dysfunctional home, sexual or physical abuse, abandonment, rejection, or simply a series of painful situations that have now defined who you think you are. In order for your cycle of shame and failure to end, you have to believe that it is God’s will for you to have peace and stability, and that a new inheritance needs to replace your old identity.

What does that look like in your everyday life? In areas outside your physical identity? Here are several ways:

• The never-ending financial crisis that moves from feast to famine and back.
• The perpetual dieting-and-then-gain-it-back-again cycle.
• Working hard, but never reaping the fruit of what you have sown.
• Series of broken friendships and relationships because you have to win and can’t be wrong.
• A destiny that you perceive, but you don’t  have the clarity,partnership or strength to bring forth.

Oh, it’s not a pretty sight. But that doesn’t have to be you. If you have been in a pattern of self-sabotage for years, or even decades, the expectation that you are going to build a new, BOLD identity overnight is not realistic. However, within six months to a year, it is completely possible, and even probable to redefine your internal and external identity. Here are a couple tips on how to start.

1. Name three characteristics that would be part of your new identity.

2. Begin to implement just one strategic step and then find a scripture that you can memorize related to that area.

3. Decide what you don’t want to be part of your new identity. (You will know who to gravitate AWAY from)